


Regret for Things Left Unsaid

by AriWrote



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: A lack of communication results in sadness, Angst, Drabble, M/M, Mention of Ryoma/Other(s), Mention of Xander/Other(s), no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 14:36:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6708664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriWrote/pseuds/AriWrote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The invitation for the wedding had come nearly a week ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regret for Things Left Unsaid

The invitation for the wedding had come nearly a week ago. Ryoma had made plans to travel to Nohr the same day. He’d been drowning himself in work ever since, eager for anything to keep his mind off what awaited him in Nohr. At one point, his littlest sister had pulled him aside, eyes filled with worry.

“Big Brother, are you alright? I know you and Prince Xander were close and ever since we received the invitation to his wedding, something’s been off about you.” Gods bless, Sakura, she’d always been too good at noticing when something was wrong with Ryoma.

Ryoma had laughed and even that had seemed forced. He’d tried to ease her worries and explain that it was just the stress from planning the trip to Nohr. No, it had nothing to do with Xander’s wedding. She hadn’t said anything after that, but it was clear that she didn’t believe him.

The days until they arrived in Nohr passed by in a blur. He spent some days functioning on less than an hour of sleep. That wasn’t particularly new, but the lack of sleep gave his mind too much time to wonder on to subjects he’d rather not think on.

Ryoma was almost proud of himself that when they finally arrived in Nohr that he didn’t confront Xander right then and there with all the thoughts that had plagued him. Instead, he waited until they were safely in the room that would be Ryoma’s to snap.

“What the hell were you thinking, Xander? Were you ever going to tell me?”

Said man leaned against the wall, one perfectly groomed eyebrow arched in question. He scowled and said, “I don’t know what it is you want, Ryoma. You wouldn’t care to fill me in, because I’m certainly lost on what has you so incensed?”

“You’re getting married,” Ryoma said, through grit teeth.

“Ah, yes I am. That is why you’re here. What about it?”

“You didn’t think to tell me any of this? Did it never occur that this was important?”

 _What does this mean for us?_ He left unsaid. He wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.

“I was unaware of it until recently. My father made the deal with the family before I was born and he rarely spoke of it after. The family has only just come forward to announce it.”

“Your father is dead, Xander,” Ryoma said. Xander flinched and Ryoma wished he could take it back. Even though Garon had been who he was, the memory of his death was still fresh. Ryoma was all too familiar with the ache left by a father’s death. He wished he could stop the words coming from his mouth, but they fell anyway, “He can’t force you to go along with this!”

“My father’s death does not negate the benefits this marriage will bring to Nohr. I understand it may be hard to believe, but before Anankos, father was a just man. I have to believe he had the best for Nohr in mind when he arranged the marriage,” Xander said. His voice sounded tired; as if this was something he’d been reminding himself since the marriage had come up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself, “I’d been trying to figure out how to tell you ever since I found out. I’m sorry you had to find out how you did. If… If I’d known, I would never have gotten involved with you.”

Even if Xander had said it to comfort, the words still stung. The idea of Xander being betrothed to someone else hurt, but the idea of never having the chance to be with Xander wasn’t any more pleasant a thought.

“Do think you can love them?”

“Does it really matter?” Xander said. There was dull thud as Xander’s head connected with the wall. His posture was resigned, defeated. It was a clear ‘no’, even if he never outright said it.

Ryoma frowned, “Is there no other option?”

Xander’s laughter was hollow. The way he said, “Do you have any other idea?” almost sounded like a plea.

Ryoma had nothing to give, so he stayed silent. Xander looked as if he expected it. The smile on his lips was bitter.

“I thought so,” he said, “Is that all?”

His eyes met Xander’s gaze and he almost wasn’t surprised by the plea found there. There were words stuck in the back of his throat: fancy declarations and a plea of his own. He couldn’t find the words to say them.

When minutes passed and it became clear that Ryoma would say nothing, Xander’s face went blank. His voice was almost mechanical as he said, “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay.”

Ryoma watched as Xander left him behind without another word. Days later, he watches as the man he’d loved recites words he doesn’t mean and Ryoma wonders. What would have happened if he’d just had the courage to say the words that had resounded in his head that day? If only he’d just said, “I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married.” Would he have been the one wearing matching wedding bands with Xander? It’s a thought he doesn’t let himself dwell on for long.

Years later, when he’s married and the years have dulled the ache, he gathers the courage to pen the letter. He doesn’t really expect a response, but it’s cathartic to send the question out into the world. He doesn’t know how to react when he receives a response.

“If you’d told me that, what would I have done?” It read and Ryoma could only stare at the way the letters looped and curled. Xander’s personal letters had always seemed much freer than his diplomatic letters. Ryoma wouldn’t lie and say he’d didn’t miss that part of Xander. His eyes moved to the next line and his grip on the letter tightened, “If you done that, I don’t think I could have denied you. It’s a shame you didn’t.”


End file.
